The Carter Documentary

I longed for a bottle of syrup after watching this Carter Documentary last night. I thought still think about copping some NyQuil & Ginger Ale and calling the combo, ‘The Green Monster’. If I was sure that I could quintuple the readership of Criminal Slang by sippin a little drank and keeping the keyboard and WiFi [...]

I longed for a bottle of syrup after watching this Carter Documentary last night. I thought still think about copping some NyQuil & Ginger Ale and calling the combo, ‘The Green Monster’. If I was sure that I could quintuple the readership of Criminal Slang by sippin a little drank and keeping the keyboard and WiFi on deck, I would do it, & I’m certain that you (don’t front) would encourage it.

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If there are people out there that will TwitPay $ to Jean Grae for Vodka & Cigarettes, then I’m sure one or two of you reading this would have no trouble with picking up the NyQuil tab at Costco. It will start off as a novelty thing, as these situations usually do (bling bling anyone? He coined that, ‘member?). Sometime later, while knee deep in the admittedly amateur NyQuil game, someone in my growing cricle will inevitably upgrade me to PROmethazine.

Then, I’m off to the races. With the world cheering me on, i’ll eventually hit a million trackbacks in one week. I’ll grant interviews & throw the interviewer out the room when he asks stupid questions (they exist, f-ck what you heard in Jr High English). I will embrace my role as a factory of quips, quotables, embeded videos & handpicked music downloads. I’ll crash the Bloggies, fill a friendly uterus & will clearly demonstrate the need for a verified Twitter account, from the sheer volume of fake accounts.

The whole while, I’ll bury my pain in a thick layer of syrup and let it leak slowly across my posts. Fuck a wall, you’ll have to call David Bowie to navigate the labyrinth that I’ll have setup between the world & I. In the event of my untimely demise, proceeds from the RIP merch should put my seed through college.

– but I digress…

I couldn’t help but wonder if Lil Wayne’s fans secretly want him to die. Not his enemies, but his fans. I know his weed-carriers and syrup-fetchers have an economic interest in exhibiting fancy footwork on the touchline, by keeping him alive & well medicated. I’m sure some of his loved ones are concerned about him. The doc portrays Cortez Bryant as someone who doesn’t enable Wayne’s addictions, yet is admittedly powerless to stop it. I guess he’s just waiting in the wings for s-it to pop off, so that he’s there for his homey.

I’m fairly certain that the fans want him to die though. Society has always lauded the artist post-mortem. Critics use an early death as a cautionary tale, while romantics praise their joie de vivre. The average person knows & loves the persona and gives f-ck all about the person. Look at all those DJ AM follows post-overdose! People enjoy that nostalgic look back & Weezy has enough catalog for an endless supply of tribute mixes.

The Carter Documentary [via megaupload]

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